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making room for a new addition

4/21/2015

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Photo courtesy of Crista Ballard Photography 

This article was originally published in the April 2015 edition of 605 Magazine. 

Spring is always that time of year where our winter oppressed bodies comes out of deep hiding and we unabashedly expose our sun-deprived faces to the world in an act of utter jubilee. In addition to the weeping of joy that takes place once winter is over, spring is also a time where many take to the mop, the rags, the bleach, and channel their inner Cinderella servant self and involve themselves in what has become known as their annual spring cleaning.

And then, of course, there are people like me.

Who, at the first scent of spring, run frantically to the windows, throw them open with wild abandon, lay in the sun, and dream of fresh gardens and golden tans. Leaving any conscious thought of being in the house another second after a cruel winter 
-- let alone cleaning said house -- far behind.

However, this spring is different for our little family. You see, a blessing blew down from heaven itself and we are expecting a baby boy in June. (Insert wild, off-beat, embarrassing, happy dance here.) So, with a pending arrival of another tiny human, I have gone against the grain of my character and decided to try to do a little intensive organization and spring cleaning of my own. Or, as some others may call it, nesting.

We didn’t get the chance to prepare, clean, or nest when our first child came because she made her two-pound debut 10 weeks early. Thus, we were immediately hurled into the throes of parenthood and hospital stays and the very last thing I had time to think about was organizing baby socks, cleaning the carpet, or even putting a nursery together. And while we are praying and hoping this time will be different, we realize there is a chance we could find ourselves there again. So, to alleviate a bit of pressure I used spring as a good excuse to get the house ready in anticipation of our baby boy.

And, what have I learned from this idea of spring cleaning? Well, fellow spring citizens, tidying off any remnant of the harsh winter is no simple affair. I ended up consulting the Google about what sorts of activities are included in a regular spring cleaning and I came upon a list compiled by Martha Stewart entitled “Spring-Cleaning Checklist.” And I’m here to tell you, I’m sorry, but Martha has gone and lost her mind. The checklist is three pages long, small print. THREE pages. And as if that isn’t crazy enough, they list eight steps to achieve perfectly clean windows. Eight steps. And for good measure, they also throw in how to clean all the grout in your house.

I quickly shut my computer after I read that list. First of all, what happened to just wiping your windows down with Windex? And second of all, I’m not entirely confident I can identify what grout even is in my house. Sigh. It is no wonder I have avoided this seasonal cleanse my whole life.

Now to those of you who love this type of extremely thorough house purification, I hope you don’t hear me judging you. Because, well …  baby, you’re a firework. I’m jealous that you have that work ethic in you and wish I had it in me to locate grout, scrub it, and wax it until it sparkles. Unfortunately, I just don’t have it in me. So, I have just pretended Martha’s exhaustive three-page list does not exist and I have been focusing my energy on things like sifting through old baby gear and seeing what I can use again, hiring painters to paint the new nursery, and trying to get my three-year-old to understand the change that is brewing in our little house. And now … I’m exhausted.

My spring cleaning list may be small, but I feel enormously accomplished in getting to do any sort of preparation at all this time around. And, as any parent can attest, anything can happen on this wild ride to bringing a human into the world, so while the sun is shining, the baby is kicking, and the carpets are cleaned, I’m just going to soak up the springtime sunshine and leave the intense cleaning for another season (or decade).

Happy cleaning!


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co-parenting ... with technology?

4/1/2015

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This article was originally published in the March 2015 edition of 605 Magazine.

Oh! How I do love thee technology. I can find out anything I need to know — and also what I don’t need to know -- with a quick inquiry to the Google. I can map myself to anywhere I want to go. I can find out things about girls my brothers are dating before my brothers even know the poor girl’s last name. I can arm the alarm to my house from anywhere in the world. I can incorrectly diagnose myself with any medical ailment you can think of. I can stalk where my husband is at any given moment (not creepy at all). And finally, I can waste a perfectly glorious day holed up in my room binge watching Downton Abbey episodes until I’m speaking in a British accent.

You see, technology and me? We’ve become quite close.

Unfortunately, this relationship has enacted unintended consequences on my offspring. My daughter has been a first-hand witness to all the texting, googling, talking to Siri, and “there’s an app for that” behavior of mine. Despite my attempts to limit her usage, she has noticed that technology plays a very present role in her parent’s everyday life and naturally, it is beginning to take a prominent role in hers.

We recently took a trip to Arizona this winter to make sure that temperatures still exist over 30 degrees. We were relieved to find that in fact, they do, and warm sunshine still exists. In addition to that very important finding, it was this trip I began to notice my daughter’s reliance and desire for all things technology. For example, when we boarded the plane, one of the first questions she asked me was “Does airplane have WiFi, Mommy?” Whoa. First of all, no it does not and it absolutely should! But second, how do you know about WiFi 3-year-old child of mine? Back in my day, when I flew in an airplane as a child I was most concerned about being the one who got to sit by the window and how many bags of peanuts the flight attendant would surrender to me.

But, gone are the days of peanuts, and gone are the days of window watching for children growing up in this generation. Afterall, who wants to look outside when we have information, entertainment, and distraction available on our technological devices? Therein exists the conundrum. As it is so readily available, are our children relying too much on technology? Am I, the relatively perfect mother (blatant lie), relying too much on technology? And, while I am at it, what happened to all the bags of peanuts?

I read a report the other day that said it would be beneficial to limit any type of screen time for children to 30 minutes and under per day and to never use it as a “babysitter”. I immediately thought to myself, “another parenting fail on my part; we watch at least two Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood per morning. Oops.”  But, I put the study to the test and limited my daughter for one day to only 30 minutes of any sort of technology (phones, Ipads, TV, computers, etc.). The result? We played together, we colored, we imagined, we danced, read books, stared at each other, and napped. When it came time to prepare dinner, I turned on her favorite PBS show and turned it off right as it was over. So, all that to say, limiting screen time to 30 minutes is not completely impossible, but it definitely takes dedication on my end.

The next day, however, was a different story. I wasn’t feeling good throughout the whole day, so we watched movies. I let her scroll through pictures on my phone.  Dinner that night was out with family so I turned on YouTube at the dinner table so we could talk and eat in peace. And at the end of the day, I cringed at how many minutes of screen time she probably logged on to her little brain. In fact, how many minutes had I logged on to my little brain?

Whether you are a parent or not, the technology-life balance struggle is real. How many people do you know cannot be parted from their phone for longer than a nanosecond? Are you one of those people? As a parent in our technology ridden age, how do we showcase a balance to our children with technology in our own lives? How do we harness the power of technology and not let it harness us or our children? 


I don’t have the answers. But, wait! I bet there is a YouTube tutorial out there about it …  I’ll let you know.




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