Little Parent on the Prairie
  • Home
  • About
  • Writings

Newborns & breakfast burritos

8/1/2015

0 Comments

 
Picture
Photo courtesy Crista Ballard Photography
Originally published in the August edition of 605 Magazine.

From the minute we revealed we were pregnant with our second child, almost everyone we talked to with more than one child warned us about the paradigm shift that was going to take place. “You will no longer outnumber them,” we were cautioned. “It will be man-to-man coverage from here on out.” “Get ready,” they said. “You won’t even remember your name you will be so sleep-deprived.” “Better get a date night in now, because those are over!”


Although we were absolutely overjoyed with being pregnant with a son, as we approached our due date, all these code red warnings began replaying in our minds. So, wide-eyed and frightened, we heeded the cautions and prepared some offensive strategies: First, we stocked up on wine. Then, we read books about parenting and discussed ways to keep our marriage strong against the wind of fiery child-rearing trials. And at the very last minute, we made frozen breakfast burritos to last us months. Because, when it all hits the fan, it’s always a good idea to eat a breakfast burrito.

Then came the day to give birth to our baby boy. A C-section was scheduled (due to the complications we had with our first child) and on June 22 of 2015, with the majority of my body numbed and nauseated beyond belief, I got my first glimpse of my son. Suddenly, all the warnings, all the worry surrounding the pregnancy, and all the fear of the unknown evaporated with the miraculous sound of my son bellowing out his inaugural furious cry. It was a magical moment I will never forget. The long, risky nine months were over and there screaming before me was my eight-and-a-half pound miracle baby.

At the time of this writing, my son is three weeks old and today was the first day I was home alone with both of my children. Just me, and yes, I’m outnumbered now. My husband is back at work and my mother, who helped me recover from the surgery for weeks, has returned to her home in Mississippi. The day is winding down and I’m proud to report, we all survived. So far, I have only been vomited on three times, I’ve changed my sheets twice, cleaned up urine from the carpet once, talked my toddler off the proverbial ledge of tantrum apocalypse approximately four times, and I’ve changed my outfit twice due to some type of bodily excrement from my son. I also found my dog hiding in the bathtub.

All of this, I promise, is a true story. And all of this, I promise, has made me happier than I ever thought possible.

You see, what people didn’t warn us about having more than one child is that while life does change immensely, it’s not all fire and brimstone kind of change. And while It is indeed a tremendous sacrifice — hell, I have to get practically sawed in half to bring babies into this world -- the moment the sweet nurses placed my son on me, I realized for the second time that new life is always worth any kind of sacrifice.
​

I know there will be difficult days, difficult months, and maybe even difficult years of parenting. But today, I’m relishing the supernatural gift of new life. And after a beautiful chaotic day like today, I’m also savoring the taste of a delicious, pre-made breakfast burrito.
0 Comments

our final moments as a trio 

7/1/2015

0 Comments

 
Picture
Photo courtesy of Crista Ballard Photography 
Originally published in the July 2015 edition of 605 Magazine

At the time of this writing, I am a mere seven days away from meeting our new baby boy. This will be our second child, our first boy, and our first baby we were able to carry to full term. To say we are wildly excited would be a gross understatement, but as we have reached these last several days of waiting we also find ourselves … wildly bored out of our minds and beyond ready to look upon the face of our baby boy.


While I consider myself Procrastinator Extraordinaire — to the point I should probably list it on my resume under “Skills” -- preparing for this baby I have been body snatched and transformed into Patty Prepared. The nursery was done weeks ago. I planted my garden. Blankets have been folded and refolded. All baby gear has been purchased and stored and to top it off, I even started sewing. People, that’s how real it is: I’m so bored that I am sewing. I’ve sewn curtains, baby things, baby blankets, and I was just looking at a Youtube tutorial on how to make a tie for my dog.

I know what you’re thinking. And I know. I don’t even know myself anymore either.

Then, of course there is the cleaning. I feel like I have been reduced to a cleaning robot. In efforts to provide a sterile environment for a newborn, I feel like almost every moment of my day involves some sort of tidying. But, I have to to tell you, it’s the damndest thing: While I keep cleaning, these people I live with! They just keep eating. They keep wearing clothes. They keep dropping stuff on the floor. And with a gigantic baby subsiding directly in my abdominal cavity, at this point if it’s on the floor, it might as well be in Cuba because this pregnant gal can’t pick anything up.  It’s almost as if nesting has become futile because the nesting efforts are constantly being undermined by a toddler, a dog, and a grown man.
Thus, in these last days, I’ve given up on the cleaning aspect. My mother arrives tomorrow and I will more than appreciate the extra hands and able body as my body in this state of pregnancy — well, it is just not able. So instead of cleaning, sewing, and all the other insane things I have found myself doing to pass the time these last few weeks, I have taken to just soaking up these precious moments with my daughter.

We only have seven days left together just her and I during the day so I want to truly make the most of our time. We have spent long days at the park and pool and yesterday we spent a long rainy day inside baking. Foolishly thinking baking is a good idea with a fervently independent toddler, I had grand notions of several dozen cookies and a fresh baked cake awaiting my mother when she arrived. Instead, I found my kitchen looking like a scene out of Twister with only one dozen edible cookies, a broken bowl on the floor, a scared dog cowering in the corner because of the commotion, and a half eaten cake. Sorry, Mom.

But in the end, there was my daughter: Standing on her stool wearing an apron, silly happy with chocolate smeared all over her face and extremities shouting “I can’t wait to show Daddy cookies!” This is it, I thought to myself. These are the moments I’m going to remember forever. 
​

Much like my toddler, I don’t do very well with boredom. But, I could not be more thankful for these 40 weeks of grueling high-risk pregnancy. For what feels like eternity, I have prayed, hoped, and begged for a full term pregnancy and now to be so close to the finish line and to still have time to sneak in priceless memories is more than I could have ever asked for.
As long as it feels, it is obvious God knew what he was doing when he made pregnancy 40 weeks long (don’t stone me for saying so).  Not only is it the perfect amount of time for a baby to be perfectly grown, but it’s also the ideal timeframe for all of us to get our heads wrapped around the fact that we are physically bringing a baby into the world. Wild.

So, while you’re reading this and you’re making your Fourth of July plans or scheming your epic road trip to some epic adventure, think of me dear friend and any other expectant mother. Drop us a line. Because we’ll just be here; holding it down on the prairie trying to stave off anxious boredom while doing our part to populate the earth. Now, back to waiting … Seven more days …





0 Comments

making room for a new addition

4/21/2015

0 Comments

 
Picture
Photo courtesy of Crista Ballard Photography 

This article was originally published in the April 2015 edition of 605 Magazine. 

Spring is always that time of year where our winter oppressed bodies comes out of deep hiding and we unabashedly expose our sun-deprived faces to the world in an act of utter jubilee. In addition to the weeping of joy that takes place once winter is over, spring is also a time where many take to the mop, the rags, the bleach, and channel their inner Cinderella servant self and involve themselves in what has become known as their annual spring cleaning.

And then, of course, there are people like me.

Who, at the first scent of spring, run frantically to the windows, throw them open with wild abandon, lay in the sun, and dream of fresh gardens and golden tans. Leaving any conscious thought of being in the house another second after a cruel winter 
-- let alone cleaning said house -- far behind.

However, this spring is different for our little family. You see, a blessing blew down from heaven itself and we are expecting a baby boy in June. (Insert wild, off-beat, embarrassing, happy dance here.) So, with a pending arrival of another tiny human, I have gone against the grain of my character and decided to try to do a little intensive organization and spring cleaning of my own. Or, as some others may call it, nesting.

We didn’t get the chance to prepare, clean, or nest when our first child came because she made her two-pound debut 10 weeks early. Thus, we were immediately hurled into the throes of parenthood and hospital stays and the very last thing I had time to think about was organizing baby socks, cleaning the carpet, or even putting a nursery together. And while we are praying and hoping this time will be different, we realize there is a chance we could find ourselves there again. So, to alleviate a bit of pressure I used spring as a good excuse to get the house ready in anticipation of our baby boy.

And, what have I learned from this idea of spring cleaning? Well, fellow spring citizens, tidying off any remnant of the harsh winter is no simple affair. I ended up consulting the Google about what sorts of activities are included in a regular spring cleaning and I came upon a list compiled by Martha Stewart entitled “Spring-Cleaning Checklist.” And I’m here to tell you, I’m sorry, but Martha has gone and lost her mind. The checklist is three pages long, small print. THREE pages. And as if that isn’t crazy enough, they list eight steps to achieve perfectly clean windows. Eight steps. And for good measure, they also throw in how to clean all the grout in your house.

I quickly shut my computer after I read that list. First of all, what happened to just wiping your windows down with Windex? And second of all, I’m not entirely confident I can identify what grout even is in my house. Sigh. It is no wonder I have avoided this seasonal cleanse my whole life.

Now to those of you who love this type of extremely thorough house purification, I hope you don’t hear me judging you. Because, well …  baby, you’re a firework. I’m jealous that you have that work ethic in you and wish I had it in me to locate grout, scrub it, and wax it until it sparkles. Unfortunately, I just don’t have it in me. So, I have just pretended Martha’s exhaustive three-page list does not exist and I have been focusing my energy on things like sifting through old baby gear and seeing what I can use again, hiring painters to paint the new nursery, and trying to get my three-year-old to understand the change that is brewing in our little house. And now … I’m exhausted.

My spring cleaning list may be small, but I feel enormously accomplished in getting to do any sort of preparation at all this time around. And, as any parent can attest, anything can happen on this wild ride to bringing a human into the world, so while the sun is shining, the baby is kicking, and the carpets are cleaned, I’m just going to soak up the springtime sunshine and leave the intense cleaning for another season (or decade).

Happy cleaning!


0 Comments

healing from miscarriage

2/1/2015

0 Comments

 
Picture
Photo Courtesy of Crista Ballard Photography.

This article was originally published in the January 2015 edition of 605 Magazine. 

The New Year has blown in from time’s north, ushering in a feeling of new and a sweeping sensation of fresh. We draw from year’s past to inform the untouched 365 days spread out before us and I as stand on the precipice of a new year filled with limitless opportunity, I can’t help but feel excited. Hopeful.

Last year I talked about the fear we have associated with going forward with more children due to our complications in getting our first child. But, as we looked at our only daughter and the miracle that she is, the fear seemed to dim and the light of potential life shined bright.

So, we did what anyone would do when thinking about having more children … We went to Mexico. Olé!  We swam in the ocean. We ate tacos. We did not drink the water. And we had the best time of our lives with some of the best friends we could ask for, all the while speaking horrible Spanish. A few weeks later, I found myself staring at a positive pregnancy test. Life was on track.

But, what started out as a dream come true tumbled into a nightmare 10 weeks into the pregnancy. We saw the heartbeat at six and seven weeks, but at our next appointment we found ourselves trapped in a sad scene out of a movie. The ultrasound tech went silent and left the room and returned with our doctor. “I’m so sorry,” she comforted. “But there is just no heartbeat this time, your baby has passed on.”

In that moment, time stalled. The air felt thick and suffocating. All I could do was keep my eyes on my husband and breathe. Now, for me, crying in public is akin to the humiliation of forgetting to put on pants before speaking to a large crowd. But in that moment, something in me crumbled. My heart. My heart crumbled and I began weeping like never before in front of everyone.

Thus began my walk on a road that unfortunately many women have walked before me and a road in which I am terrified to ever have to walk again.

Today, I have the vantage point of being six months away from that moment, and I can honestly say that somehow I’ve emerged feeling grateful. Because every since that day in the doctor’s office and the harrowing ride in the ambulance two days later when I developed complications associated with the miscarriage; my heart became opened, sensitive, and acutely aware of the entire subculture of women that have experienced similar and more dramatic loss in their pregnancies.

In my own tiny little world within just three weeks of our own nightmare, two of my closest friends had miscarriages and yet another experienced an ectopic pregnancy. Not to mention one of those dear women had already experienced the excruciating loss of her infant daughter. I also have several friends that are currently navigating through infertility issues and, on the flip side, I also know many women who sneeze and are pregnant and their delivery reads more like a spa day than actual labor.

But no matter the story, the reality is the road to pregnancy, pregnancy, and the aftermath is an epic odyssey laced with heartbreak and indescribable joy. And as I said last spring; no matter what, life is always worth the journey. So,  all of you women out there trying to conceive, who have suffered loss in the past, or are just fellow sojourners on the trek for children; I salute all of you. Your bravery to desire to love and care for a child is so wondrously sacrificial and the epitome of beautiful. In this new year, I pray for all of us that hope and life would grow and flourish.

As for the child we lost, while I mourn for her (we think it was a girl), we also rejoice. Because when we get to the point where all our journey’s end, I know I will see her again. And I won’t even have to be told who she is or wonder where she is. Because I know she’ll be there. I’ll recognize her and her me, because we know each other. What a sweet reward.


0 Comments

    Archives

    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013

    Topics

    All
    Aging
    Anniversary
    Baby Girl
    Babyproofing
    Baby Well Check
    Career Mom
    Childbearing
    Children And Technology
    Christmas
    Co Parenting
    Co-parenting
    Doctor
    Dog
    Example
    Exploration
    Fathers
    Fathers Day
    Fear
    Flies
    Future
    Genetic Disease
    Germs
    Gift Giving
    Gift-giving
    Hand Foot And Mouth Disease
    Home Organization
    House Cleaning
    House Selling
    Husband
    Identity
    Instagram
    Jesus
    Kids Nutrition
    Making Memories
    Married With Children
    Miscarriage
    New Baby
    Newborn
    New Year
    Night Owling
    Parenting
    Preeclampsia
    Pregnancy
    Premature Baby
    Romance
    Santa Claus
    Self Esteem
    Siblings
    Social Media
    South Dakota
    Spring Cleaning
    Stay At Home Mom
    Stress Eating
    Summer
    Tantrums
    Target Store
    Technology
    Third Trimester
    Threenager
    Toddler
    Traveling With Kids
    Trying To Conceive
    Tubular Sclerosis
    Vacation
    Valentines Day
    Winter
    Winter Illness
    Wrinkles

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.